Saving Your Marriage with Love and Respect

You never know how God will intervene in a time of crisis. In the darkest part of Lisa Shea’s marriage struggles, hope showed up in her mailbox in the form of a book.

Her marriage was in trouble as soon as it got started. In their first 14 months together, she and her husband experienced most of life’s biggest stressors. They both got new jobs after they relocated out of state away from friends and family, and they got pregnant and had a baby.

As the pressure grew, they each started focusing on themselves. Lisa went through a time of chronic illness and depression. She’d accepted Jesus Christ as her Savior, but instead of centering her life in Him, she kept Him “in her back pocket” for emergencies.

One of those emergencies came in a time for desparation for Lisa. Her marriage was disintegrating, and she and her husband were barely speaking to each other. As a last resort, she prayed for God’s help.

A couple of days later, she opened her mailbox and found a package from her friend Kate. It was a book, and on the cover was a note, which said, “Lisa, Dean and I heard the man who wrote this book on Focus on the Family’s radio program. I read it, and I cried. Dean read it, and he cried. We think it will bless you and transform your marriage like it did ours.”

The book Kate referred to was Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. And the principles she learned did, in fact, save her marriage, a marriage everyone – except the Lord – had given up on.

We’re airing a recording of Lisa Shea speaking at a women’s conference on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Saving Your Marriage with Love and Respect.” As you’ll hear, she details three key steps that helped Lisa and her husband turn their marriage around:

  • Recognize. Recognize the lies that you’re believing about your spouse, about your marriage, and about yourself. Hurt and pain can distract you and open you up to deception. (“I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ” 2 Corinthians 11:3, ESV)
  • Replace. Replace the lies with God’s truth. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” Romans 12:2, ESV)
  • Repeat. Keep doing the right things. Even when you fail, get back up and keep moving forward.

If your marriage is in crisis, there is good news for you. God is a loving and merciful God. Call on Him, and He will answer you (Jeremiah 33:3).

Lisa Shea shares her testimony with wit and wisdom. Join us on your local radio stationonline, on Apple Podcasts, via Google Podcasts, or take us with you on our free phone app.

This broadcast highlights why Focus on the Family exists. Every month, our counseling team fields over 1,500 calls with many relating to marriage conflict. If you can, support our ministry and help us be a cup of cold water to these couples.

When you make a pledge of any amount, we’ll send you Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ book called Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs. And if you can’t make a monthly commitment right now, we’ll still get the book to you for a one-time gift of any amount. We want your marriage to be blessed by this amazing resource.

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Jim Daly

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